EYE OF PAIN

There are times in my life when I feel like I am having the same kinds of experiences. The situation or the people involved may be different each time, yet one experience may feel exactly like the last one and the one before that one. The morning after my NOT birthday dinner party was a case where I was having the experiences over and over again. Naturally I was disappointed and frustrated and wonder why the same situations and people keep showing up in my life. I know the truth is that the same kinds of experiences don’t keep happening to me. After all, the circumstances and the people involved are always different. I was so hurt that the only way to come down from this was to cry. I had to cleanse my soul, release my pain. So naturally as always, my niece saw me like hours after and she asked me why my eye was so orange? I was so taken back all I could do was hug her because she always knows when something is wrong with me. My niece is the reason why I am making this entry, she made me stop and think and I know this is the best therapy for me. I know that subconsciously, there is great value to be had in experiencing life in the same ways until I am ready to have different experiences. My experiences tend to reflect what I believe about life. I know that I bring myself and beliefs to every situation. It would be nice if I can figure out which of my beliefs are no longer of service to me, I can consciously change those beliefs, make new choices, and start having new kinds of experiences that are in line with what I want in life.
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