If Not For You
by James Kisner
Early in the morning . . . as I lie awake in bed,
Thoughts of you run rampant . . . with the last words you said.
You always know the things to say . . . and know just what to do.
I guess that is one reason . . . why I feel such love for you.
My life has not been easy . . . with the problems that I’ve had,
It seems that situations for me . . . always turn out bad.
The little joy I seem to find . . . is always temporary,
And life comes crashing down again . . . with burdens that I carry.
It seems that others go through life . . . so happy and alive,
While it’s a constant struggle for me . . . only to survive.
I see the happy faces . . . as I walk along the street,
My life just seems so empty . . . while all others look complete.
If not for you to cheer me up . . . I’d live in gloom and doom,
And probably sit alone and scared. . . inside some darkened room.
But when I sit and contemplate . . . and feel such emptiness,
I wonder if some other people . . . go through life like this.
It seems like all the others . . . have someone to call their own,
And I sometimes feel like I am . . . the only one alone.
But every time I reach a point . . . of sinking to such depth,
You come to me and touch me with . . . a little happiness.
The words you say to pick me up . . . and make me understand,
Gives me hope to carry on . . . and try to find life’s plan.
Whenever life seems hopeless . . . and it’s more than I can bear,
You always know the words to say . . . and you are always there.
I sometimes feel so guilty . . . when you say things will be fine,
It seems you draw on positives . . . while all I do is whine.
It seems I’m weak and negative . . . and everything is wrong,
While in your constant struggle also . . . you are always strong.
I know that I complain a lot . . . and live in deep despair,
And even in my pain and sorrow . . . you are always there.
I envy you, your strength and wisdom . . . while I seem so weak,
You remain steadfast and strong . . . and don’t accept defeat.
I know that life is full of problems . . . others have them too,
And in their pain and sorrow . . . I just wonder what they do.
Does everybody go through this . . . or do I make it worse,
Magnifying pain and sorrow . . . or is it a curse
I only know that life goes on . . . regardless of the pain,
And every day it is a struggle . . . even to stay sane.
I will deal the best I can . . . with things that come along,
And hopefully, one day, I too . . . will feel like I am strong.
But as for now and days to come . . . I must take day by day,
And cling on to the precious words . . . that I know you will say.
I love you for your honesty . . . and all you say and do,
I do not know how I would cope with life . . . if not for YOU.