NO INDIVIDUAL = NO COMMUNITY!
Some people don’t want to be gay because of how others have reacted to them. Maybe their parents don’t want them to be gay. Maybe some of their friends have stopped being their friends. Whatever the case, that’s not a good enough reason. It won’t work, and you’ll only be unhappy. If you don’t want to be gay, that’s fine, but it’s a choice you have to make because it’s what YOU really want. Some people don’t want to be gay because they think that if they become straight, all their problems will disappear. THIS IS JUST NOT TRUE! There is no quick-fix way to become straight or to deal with all of life’s problems. Both take a lot of work. Some people don’t want to be gay because they don’t think they really are gay, even though they are attracted to the same sex and not the opposite sex. Deep inside, they say, “This might be what I feel, but it’s not who I really am.” Or, “This might be what I feel, but it’s not who I really want to be.” And so they choose not to identify themselves as gay or lesbian, and choose not to act on their attraction to people of the same sex. Instead, they seek to become the person they feel they really are or want to be. Some people don’t want to be gay because their religious beliefs say that homosexual behavior is not what God wants of their lives. Influenced by their strong religious convictions, they have decided not to engage in homosexual behavior, whether or not this ever leads to a change in attractions as well. It is a difficult path to choose, but it’s what they want to do.
CONSTRAITS WITH LABELS…
Top or Bottom. Gay or Same Gender Loving. Feminine or Masculine. We’ve all heard them or have been asked to label ourselves by them. For whatever reason, many Black SGL or Gay men seem to be OK with allowing them selves to be placed into categories. These constraints simply strip away our own individuality, while separating us from one another causing wide-spread lack of respect. But what’s even more unfortunate is that many of us never ask, “Why can’t I just be me?” The sad truth is that very few of us are free from religious control or label constraints, thus leaving very few individuals by definition to make up a true community. And unfortunately, we will never obtain a sense of community and togetherness without more self-thinking individuals. Watch how fast homophobia diminishes when we stop subjecting ourselves to religious abuse. Watch how the respect for one another increases with the disassociation to labels. And lastly, watch how fast the HIV rates decline once we start seeing ourselves as individuals and loving ourselves accordingly.
EXTERNAL CONTROL THROUGH RELIGION…
I think it is safe to say that the majority of us were raised under a Christian methodology. Very few have asked themselves why they believe what they do. And not many have actually sat down and interpreted the bible for themselves. Instead, they’ve allowed the words of their ministers and bishops to become bond, relinquishing control of their minds. Most of us were taught from the beginning that homosexuality was a “SIN” and simply an abomination. And even today as adults, many of us choose to hear these same words every Sunday. And although some may argue that they simply ignore it, the simple fact is that by them remaining in a gay-bashing church is a sign that somewhere deep down they believe those words or hate to be true. This reminds me of the process of brainwashing. If someone can spit in your face and you still remain seated to continue listening to what they have to say, you have lost control over yourself. Your independence is lost.
I have found my self in place knowing that I am GAY, I think I was born this way for some un-know reason. I don’t have any regrets or worry about what is to come, I’ve learned that this is BIGGER than YOU or I. I take things with grind of salt and take baby steps when I walk. I have come to understand what HOMOSEXUALITY means to ME, what does it mean to YOU?