Our friends group is mix of straight and gay men, but there is one guy who I am really close to, and to be honest, I love him very much. He’s straight, married and loves me too as a friend. I really do care about him and he does too (he treats me like a his brother).
We have been friends for some years now, but the last year I built a huge crush on him. I so badly want to sleep with him, to show how much I really love him. Sadly he’s never shown such interest in me. He talks to me about all his sexual encounters (before his marriage) and even gets comfortable changing clothes when I am the same room.
I am so broken inside because my desire to be with him has become worse, I know that he is married he is very loyal to his wife, but what do I do to change my situation? I feel helpless, because I got caught doing something I shouldn’t. His wife had gone to her distant relative’s house while staying at his, I was starting at his bulge and he noticed that.
For the first time in our friendship, he was so annoyed and yelled at me saying – “what the fuck are you looking at dude?”. He has never been angry with me ever, he knew about my sexuality all these years. I feel very guilty, I’m worried what if he thinks or doubt my friendship and want to keep me out of his life? I am very scared and I don’t want to loose him. How can I stop my feelings?