Gay men do have a reputation for sometimes being “douchey” when seeking sex. Sometimes, in the hunt for sex, testosterone takes over and the other part of being male, the more tender part gets submerged for a while. This sometimes creates a gay/bi male subculture where we forget that even with a hookup, tender feelings are involved.
While men may have hefty doses of the aggressive testosterone hormone in their blood, we also need to attach to others just like everyone else. So how do we find common ground?
And, most importantly, we can learn that there is a way to talk about anything with other, even the need for sex that feels connecting and intimate?
How do we remove the illusion that “it’s just sex” & “what possible difference does it make where I put my penis?”