We are lucky bastards. We’ve got it all. We fought through centuries of sex in the shadows, criminalisation, the blackmailing years. Many of us have avoided the fates of countless other anonymous victims of societal homophobia. Lest we forget.

Sexual liberation was fought @ Stonewall, and beyond, and we’ve expressed it proudly in our leather harnesses and pink go-go shorts at countless subsequent gay Pride parades. We’ve taken sex away from the public toilets and parks, and parked it proudly on our smartphones for all to download, click, block and swipe. Gay porn is a robust, wealthy industry, and we resource it without shame, advertising the latest titles in shop windows and inviting the hottest porn stars to be hosts of our favourite nightclubs.

The evidence of our sexual liberation is tantalisingly on display for anyone strolling through any gay district, past sex shops advertising the porn titles and fetish gear that were once hidden in suitcases under our beds. We celebrated the demise of pre-marital sex being a sin for our straight siblings; not that that was ever an issue for us. No, we were always exempt from religious or cultural shackles such as that.

There’s still more to do of course; slut-shaming/PrEP-shaming is still a thing, and those few ‘good gays’ who judge the vulnerable many for not consistently using condoms, or for succumbing to the availability of drugs and alcohol… well they’ll eventually retreat back behind their keyboards and find something else to troll. This brilliant fight for sexual liberation is mostly won, and the evidence/consequences are all around us; won through the sweat, suffering and activism of our forebears.

We deserve to be proud of such achievements. Even defensive.

And we are. We’re defensive about the liberties we’ve fought for, understandably. We’re defensive about our right to party, our right to use drugs, our right to have as many partners as we choose, and to have 24 hour saunas. Hetero-normative is a dirty word, and a longing for monogamy expressed on Grindr will unleash a swathe of rejections that could either force you into abstinence or drive you to drink. At the very least, it’ll make you date-less tonight. 

Is it possible for sexual liberation to ever go too far?

What would too far mean for you?


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