I think we’ve all had those days (and sometimes weeks or months) when our sex drives play hide-and-seek. After a difficult project at work, a stressful time with the kids, or even an amazing but exhausting vacation, sometimes I can’t find a way to feel sexy. There are so many other shortcuts that yield the results that I want: If I don’t feel like cooking, sometimes I can order takeout. So what’s the shortcut that’ll make one want to get it on?
If there are times when you know you’d enjoy having sex but don’t always know how to get there, then this is for you. After talking to friends and doing a little research, I found some great ways to get you in the mood.
1. To start with, do something relaxing.
This might seem like the answer to everything, but that’s because it actually works. I can’t go from feeling stressed-out to sensual sexpot without taking some time to relax. Maybe I need a bath, a massage, a cup of coffee and a cookie, or just a few minutes to myself. Whatever I do, I do it with the intention of preparing for sexual pleasure.
2. Change the rules.
Sometimes, it’s easy to fall into the routine of day-to-day life without looking up to take in your surroundings. A date night can be a really awesome time to touch base with your partner and try something you’ve both never done before. Whether it’s a new type of food or a new move in the bedroom, using this time to explore new opportunities (or each other) makes it into not only a fun experience but a chance to grow as a couple.
3. Change the scenery.
Find a place that removes you from your everyday life for a while. Sometimes it’s to go somewhere special with your partner for a quick dinner or a drink while making sure there’s enough time left in the evening to go somewhere to get it on. Sometimes even the guest room is enough of a change of scenery to make you stop thinking about your daily grind and start focusing on my sexual desires.
4. Try reading or watching something that turns you on.
I suggest focusing on something exciting. I prefer erotica, but some of my friends enjoy steamy romance novels, and a romantic movie that has some racy sex scenes in it often makes me want to do more than just watch. Porn that depicts fantasies I enjoy will almost always get me going.
5. Try new sex toys.
Sometimes you can’t relax and enjoy sex because I’m really stressed and sometimes you’re stressed just because it’s been a while since you experienced sexual pleasure. Getting a sex toy can get you and your partner off. After all, it’s true that an orgasm (or three) is the perfect way to eliminate stress.