What do gay men notice when sleeping at your place?
Nervous about having a guy you really like over to your home for the first time? Whether you’re hooking up post-date or just having a casual hangout with your crush, the feeling is mutual.
Gay men tend to worry plenty about a number of things when we’re planning on spending the night with someone new. For starters, we’re concerned about nighttime and morning rituals, and if they’ll conflict with yours — especially if we are staying over on a work night, and need to get out the door at a certain time the next morning.
Then there’s the whole issue of which items to bring along in order to still look amazing without appearing to be high-maintenance.
Speaking of which, trying to determine what another guy will have readily available at his apartment versus what you absolutely need is an art form.
And honestly, if you’re about to bring a man you like over to your place and hope to make a good impression, there are a few things you should keep in mind when prepping your place for a visit.
To help you out, we asked a few gay men to share what they notice when they sleep over a guy’s place for the first time. Here are the things they told us they’re judging you on:
1. Cleanliness of Bathroom
“Are the towels fresh? Is the toilette scrubbed out? Is your shower clean? These are the things I’m looking for,” says Kenny, 28. “If your bathroom is dirty, that tells me a lot about how you live – and that’s not good.”
“And -please make sure you have a fresh roll of toilette paper. I don’t want to have to ask for it should the need arise.”
2. What’s in the Fridge?
“If your refrigerator is a collection of half-eaten takeout containers and booze, you might want to consider buying a few actual groceries to make it look like you have your life together,” says Mike, 29.
“You don’t have to stock the entire refrigerator with new items but at least have the essentials — like milk that isn’t expired and some fresh fruit.”
3. Drug Paraphernalia
“I don’t mind if a guy occasionally smokes 420. But if I walk into your place and you’ve got bongs and pipes laying all over the place, it’s a major turn off,” says Ricky, 34.
“How hard is it to place those items in a cabinet or drawer? When they are strewn out in plain view, it makes me wonder how much drugs are a part of your life.”
4. Ghosts From Your Ex
“I was dating a man who had broken up with a guy six-months before we met,” says Andy, 27. “I walked into his apartment and was immediately greeted with a collection vacation pictures featuring the two of them.”
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t keep mementos from the past but for shi-t’s sake, if you still have your vacay photos up, it tells me you aren’t relationship ready!”
5. Phone Numbers of Tricks
“To me, I can’t stand seeing a bunch of telephone numbers from other guys scribbled on pieces of paper and left out. That may sound petty but it just gives me the impression he’s a player,” says Nick, 34.
“How hard is it to gather them [trick’s numbers] into a pile and put them somewhere – anywhere – that’s so visible, you know?”
6. Cleanliness of sheets
“I’ll never forget when I spent the night at this guy’s house I was dating. When it came time for bed, I remember seeing this giant stain on sheets. It turns out, it was the remains of a previous play session,” says Craig, 37.
“You don’t have to have high-quality bedding but you do have to make sure it is clean. Nobody wants to sleep in filth.”
7. Your Books
“Years ago, my grandmother told me you can tell a lot about a man based on what he reads. So, when I sleep over, I’m looking to see if he has books or magazines,” says Freddy, 35.
“If there’s no reading material, it kind of tells me he doesn’t have any real interests – or curiosity about the world he lives in.”