GAY MEN & HAPPINESS…

You spend long nights wide awake, wandering around your home, wondering what you are missing in my life. But can you blame yourself for feeling this way? How could you be ungrateful when, an amazing career or a successful business, and even the perfect house? Many of us grew up with the conviction that college,…

GAY MAN & THE ‘HOE’ MANAGEMENT STRUGGLE

We’ve all heard the phrase, “With great beauty comes great responsibility” and if you can’t handle that, then you just end up a hoe. We all know someone who’s totally stunning, but has a hoop like a calamari ring. Yes, the key adjective… is ‘battered’. As gay men, we understand the need for validation, (unfortunately…

BEING INSTAGAY HOT TAKES A LOT OF EFFORT…

Being Instagay hot takes a lot of effort. And time. And preparation. And research. And commitment. Most of us will never be Instagay hot. That isn’t a pity statement, or even a depressing one. It’s just reality. And it’s a reality that many of us should wholeheartedly embrace. Nothing against the Instagay hotness I see…

CASE OF THE EX: HOW BREAK-UPS REALLY AFFECT US

Break-ups come in all shapes, sizes and levels of extremity, from ‘we just drifted apart’ to ‘that cheating bastard!’ The post-break-up period can be equally polarised. When it comes to relationships and break-ups, some gay and bi men can feel low and depressed; while others bounce back and immediately hit the gay scene with a…

GAY MEN & THE SHINY PENNY SYNDROME

Shiny Penny Syndrome occurs when you’re dating a man that can’t keep his eyes off someone else. Like, how dare you have kissable lips and abs that it is distracting my boyfriend? The problem in the gay community is that there’s always someone hotter, younger and fitter. Modern dating only adheres to that notion. We…

GAY MEN, MONOGAMY & THE LURE OF OPEN RELATIONSHIPS…

For centuries, heterosexual people have defined what relationships are. It started out as a type of possession: “I own you.” Hardly anchored in love, was it? And yet, this is the model that most of the human race has embraced for hundreds of years. Only in the last century or so has marriage begun to…

THE GAY TEST…

Have you noticed that when you meet another gay man via social media how he almost always come at you as if you should want to get with him even though he doesn’t you @ all? Why do gay men do this? Why do we almost always come from a place of sex when meeting…

¿ARE MODERN BLACK GAY MEN OBSESSED WITH SEEMING STRAIGHT?

How many times have you seen the words “No Fems” on a guy’s profile and wondered if that applied to you? And how many times have you tried downplaying your “gayness” even when in the company of other gay men? For a lot of the modern gay black men, a big part of being gay…

GAY & POLYAMOROUS…

Have you ever wondered how we became the society we are today? We grew up believing in the principles of family, passed on through generations: two people get together as a couple, later getting married and reproducing – an heterosexual normative that has always been backed by society’s constitutional laws. Gay people have forever been…

GAY MEN: ¿BAD @ DATING OR OUT OF PRACTICE?

Gay men aren’t bad at dating, we are just out of practice. As little boys, many of us know that it was absolutely not OK to to tell another boy that you like him as this  wouldn’t serve us well on the playground. So we don’t. We don’t tell anyone, and most times not even to ourselves,…

A CASE FOR LOVING THE GAY MAN THAT LEAVES YOU BEHIND…

Whenever love crumbles, we’re quick to extend a hand to the lover who got left behind. Watching them carefully, we offer them car rides in the sunshine, meals as darkness overtakes the skies, a shoulder to steady them as they mend. We connect to it, their hurting, to the sorrow and humiliation of having been…