MAINSTREAM SEXUALITY

Being gay men in 2018 is a very different experience from that of 20 years ago. Politics aside, the mainstreaming of the queer identity has already informed so much of what we hear and see and with the mobility of technology not just in the advent of cruising devices but in the online experience as…

WHEN GAY MEN ARE SEXUALLY LIBERAL & LOVE ‘BOTTOMING’

Bottom shaming is real and a lot of it stems from misogyny and our history with culture and race. Prejudice against women seems to have made its way into our culture. It originates from the idea that dominant masculinity is the idea of G.I. Joe soldiers and femininity equivocates to Betty Cocker pots and Easy…

GAY MEN & SEXUAL ROLES

I never really understood the term “the birds and the bees.” Apparently, it’s some important conversation mommy and daddy are supposed to have with you when they sit you down and explain to you the repercussions of having sex. Well, I’ve been having sex for quite some time now, and by the grace of God…

¿CAN A.I. CREATE A MORE DIVERSE QUEER COMMUNITY?

The best pride organizer might just be the computer sitting on your desk. Think about it, artificial intelligence can go through all online profiles and find what the community really needs to offer a diverse balance month of pride. Most humans, on the other hand, will rely on biases — whether they are aware of…

WE SHOULD WORRY MORE ABOUT OUR MATURITY THAN OUR ‘MASCULINITY’

I don’t tend to expect enlightenment from gay hook-up apps, but I was struck by the words I read recently on one man’s profile. I was taught that a real man is someone who makes others feel comfortable in their presence. What an admirable quality to aim for: to make others feel comfortable and at ease around…

SEX IS AWESOME BUT…

Sex is awesome, however you like it. It’s always a good thing amongst consenting adults, (and whatever appropriately-sized objects we wish to include). I do think though, that sex can be complicated for gay men. We hid our desires from a sometimes judgemental and cruel world as teenagers. We feared rejection and torment for our…

SEXUAL LIBERATION…

We are lucky bastards. We’ve got it all. We fought through centuries of sex in the shadows, criminalisation, the blackmailing years. Many of us have avoided the fates of countless other anonymous victims of societal homophobia. Lest we forget. Sexual liberation was fought @ Stonewall, and beyond, and we’ve expressed it proudly in our leather…

VIRGINITY & THE GAY COMMUNITY…

The entire concept of virginity wasn’t made for us. And yet many in the gay community have simply adopted the term to be referred to anal intercourse instead – even though vaginal intercourse occurs in our community too! Some believe that you have to be both passive and active in intercourse to lose your virginity,…

WHEN THE TOP/BOTTOM DEBATE MOVES BEYOND PHYSICAL TRAITS…

Hey, there are plenty of folks out there who don’t like bottoming and even some who don’t like to top. Why? Because gay sex is only legible to straight people in terms of the heterosexual matrix, and if someone’s son is fucking a dude/is a top, well then that’s way preferable than if he was…

TOP/BOTTOM: ¿WHY ARE PEOPLE SO CONCERNED?

Every single gay male has heard the following naive question: which one of you is “the woman” and which is “the man”? It’s a question only posed by straight people who are absolutely flummoxed about the nature of gay sex. Flummoxed! Of course the proper retort is, “We’re both men!” That’s the whole point of…

HYPER-MASCULINITY & THE GAY COMMUNITY

In our society, one of the first stages of learnt hyper-masculinity is the propagation of feminine men as objects, things that exist to please a masculine man’s gaze, ego and his penis. Do you think that both ‘masculine and feminine’ men realize that from boys to young men, we’re taught and soon adopt the notion…

¿HOW MANY MEN DOES IT?

For as long as I can remember, scholars, poets and philosophers have grappled with the same pressing question: As a “straight” guy that’s ‘gay for pay’ or bisexual, how many guys do you have to fuck before you’re officially gay? Of course we could start throwing out numbers, but they would prove nothing. Trying to…