TOP/BOTTOM: ¿WHY ARE PEOPLE SO CONCERNED?

Every single gay male has heard the following naive question: which one of you is “the woman” and which is “the man”? It’s a question only posed by straight people who are absolutely flummoxed about the nature of gay sex. Flummoxed! Of course the proper retort is, “We’re both men!” That’s the whole point of…

HYPER-MASCULINITY & THE GAY COMMUNITY

In our society, one of the first stages of learnt hyper-masculinity is the propagation of feminine men as objects, things that exist to please a masculine man’s gaze, ego and his penis. Do you think that both ‘masculine and feminine’ men realize that from boys to young men, we’re taught and soon adopt the notion…

¿HOW MANY MEN DOES IT?

For as long as I can remember, scholars, poets and philosophers have grappled with the same pressing question: As a “straight” guy that’s ‘gay for pay’ or bisexual, how many guys do you have to fuck before you’re officially gay? Of course we could start throwing out numbers, but they would prove nothing. Trying to…

WHY FINDING THE GAY GENE IS A BIG PROBLEM

Homosexuality has existed in societies across the globe for as long as we can go back in time. The Greeks, Romans, indigenous tribes, Europeans, and even early Americans had a level of fluid sexuality that permeated throughout their cultures, and that existed on a spectrum that most weren’t fixated on the way too many people…

THE “GAYDAR” MYTH…

Kids are often told that you can’t judge a book by its cover. Even so, people often believe they can rely on their gut to intuit things about other people. Stereotypes often influence these impressions, whether it’s that a black man is dangerous, a woman won’t be a good leader or a fashionable man is…

TOP/BOTTOMS: ¿CAN WE OWN OUR SISSYNESS?

Every single gay male has heard the following naive question: which one of you is “the woman” and which is “the man”? It’s a question only posed by straight people who are absolutely flummoxed about the nature of gay sex. Flummoxed! Of course the proper retort is, “We’re both boys!” That’s the whole point of…

GAY MEN: ¿BAD @ DATING OR OUT OF PRACTICE?

Gay men aren’t bad at dating, we are just out of practice. As little boys, many of us know that it was absolutely not OK to to tell another boy that you like him as this  wouldn’t serve us well on the playground. So we don’t. We don’t tell anyone, and most times not even to ourselves,…

NOT COMING OUT & CLOSET SHAMING

Coming out is hard and not coming out, can be even harder. It’s assumed that all gay people will at some stage in their lives, come out. Or at least that they should. The base assumption has been that to come out is the right / proper thing to do.    As the closet can be…

GAY MEN & STRAIGHT WOMEN…

So the other day leaving the gym, a group of women came in with a gay guy for modeling and dancing rehearsals in the yoga room. As I saw each of them walk in , I couldn’t help but to wonder if these women really appreciate this young beyond what he does for them. So…

"TOP PRIVILEGE" LET’S CHAT…

If you turn on your Grindr or Scruff or any other hook-up app, you will see your screen littered with torsos within small boxes. I would say that a large percentage of these profiles will state things like, “Masc only,” or, “No fems,” or, “Be a real man,” etc. Others will state, “Masc guy here,”…

GAY MEN & THE ONGOING BATTLE WITH COMING OUT

One of the greatest challenges that gay men face can be summed up in two little words: coming out. No matter at what age we come to terms with our sexuality, whether it’s at adolescence or much later in life, it can be a heavy burden to bear – and confiding in a friend or…